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Thread: Bernie Carbohydrate

  1. #11

    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    Well, if we're going to start being nasty again...

    I'd like to point out the irony of MEDDLE getting on someone about TANKING. :P
    2ML 1906, 1928, 1931, 1968, 1990, 1991, 1995
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  2. #12
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    Aug 2004
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    no friggin' idea
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    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    HAIL TO THE REDSKINS !

  3. #13

    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    Imagine you are Frederick Rowan, late of Madison. You had a great career with the Methomaniacs; 17 seasons of all-star play at the hot corner, 30-40 homers per year, terrific defense.

    https://www.csfbl.com/player/4759849/view

    But you start to slip in your late 30s, and you're released after over 2500 games with the franchise that drafted you. You think about retirement, but you're at 589 homers. You just want to catch on somewhere and hit eleven extra dingers and then hang 'em up, to await what is surely a call from the Chi Beta Hall of Fame.

    You sit home all through the summer of 2145, thinking that there must be an organization that could use you. Even at age 40, your defense is spectacular--you won your twelfth Gold Glove in 2144. The stats show you can still crush lefty pitching. You'd be a great stretch run addition to Bucharest bench. Heck, you could start for some contenders...looking at you, Cambridge.

    Late in the season, your agent calls--you got a FA offer. From Dorchester. That dumpster fire of a franchise. Headed for maybe 30 wins. Even worse, the play in a cavernous stadium--that RF line is 360 deep! How will you get those homers?

    Still, you take it. It ain't Tanasbourne, it ain't Madison, but it is an opportunity to keep playing the game you love.

    When you arrive at Dorchester it is as you had feared. The uniforms are an awful powder blue polyester. The mascot -- Dan the Deviant-- is in a drunken slump against a pillar. You had spent almost two decades with Madison--not a powerhouse, but not an embarrassment either. You raised your kids in that fine city. If you had to leave home, you'd hoped you could end your career with a chance at a ring, but now here you were on the very worst team in Chi Beta.

    You find the Chi Beta manager. He looks you over. "Listen," he says, "We're tanking. Bad. But the commish is on our case so we rush ordered some real ballplayers. Go our there and look like you're trying, but don't try too hard."

    You are taken aback...the ...indignity. "I can provide some veteran leadership, " you say, "Look at all these young guys. I'm a ten-time all-star--I could help them improve. maybe we win a few down the stretch, and next year we build on that. With all your draft picks this franchise has a great future..."

    The manager cuts you off. "Future? No, you'll be waived after the season so we can bring up a kid from the low minors. Just go out there and look expensive for twenty games."

    So you play. But your heart isn't in it. You miss your teammates back in Madison, who are in a dogfight for the Adirondack Division. You miss fans in the stands, as Dorchester plays out the string in their empty concrete mausoleum.

    You put up a .656 OPS in 16 games for Dorchester. The manager yells "Attaboy!" each time you strike out.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
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    15,356

    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    I'm reminded of Kevin Costner's character in For Love of the Game. Billy Chapel is an aging star who still has a little bit left but has basically done everything he needs to do to get into the HoF. He spent his entire career in Detroit and retires rather than allow himself to be traded and stagger through an ultimately meaningless final year with some other team.

    Rowan should have taken note of Seaver with the Red Sox and Mays with the Mets. Sometimes it's best to just call it a career.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Bernie Carbohydrate View Post
    Imagine you are Frederick Rowan, late of Madison. You had a great career with the Methomaniacs; 17 seasons of all-star play at the hot corner, 30-40 homers per year, terrific defense.

    https://www.csfbl.com/player/4759849/view

    But you start to slip in your late 30s, and you're released after over 2500 games with the franchise that drafted you. You think about retirement, but you're at 589 homers. You just want to catch on somewhere and hit eleven extra dingers and then hang 'em up, to await what is surely a call from the Chi Beta Hall of Fame.

    You sit home all through the summer of 2145, thinking that there must be an organization that could use you. Even at age 40, your defense is spectacular--you won your twelfth Gold Glove in 2144. The stats show you can still crush lefty pitching. You'd be a great stretch run addition to Bucharest bench. Heck, you could start for some contenders...looking at you, Cambridge.

    Late in the season, your agent calls--you got a FA offer. From Dorchester. That dumpster fire of a franchise. Headed for maybe 30 wins. Even worse, the play in a cavernous stadium--that RF line is 360 deep! How will you get those homers?

    Still, you take it. It ain't Tanasbourne, it ain't Madison, but it is an opportunity to keep playing the game you love.

    When you arrive at Dorchester it is as you had feared. The uniforms are an awful powder blue polyester. The mascot -- Dan the Deviant-- is in a drunken slump against a pillar. You had spent almost two decades with Madison--not a powerhouse, but not an embarrassment either. You raised your kids in that fine city. If you had to leave home, you'd hoped you could end your career with a chance at a ring, but now here you were on the very worst team in Chi Beta.

    You find the Chi Beta manager. He looks you over. "Listen," he says, "We're tanking. Bad. But the commish is on our case so we rush ordered some real ballplayers. Go our there and look like you're trying, but don't try too hard."

    You are taken aback...the ...indignity. "I can provide some veteran leadership, " you say, "Look at all these young guys. I'm a ten-time all-star--I could help them improve. maybe we win a few down the stretch, and next year we build on that. With all your draft picks this franchise has a great future..."

    The manager cuts you off. "Future? No, you'll be waived after the season so we can bring up a kid from the low minors. Just go out there and look expensive for twenty games."

    So you play. But your heart isn't in it. You miss your teammates back in Madison, who are in a dogfight for the Adirondack Division. You miss fans in the stands, as Dorchester plays out the string in their empty concrete mausoleum.

    You put up a .656 OPS in 16 games for Dorchester. The manager yells "Attaboy!" each time you strike out.
    Bravo! I loved Rowan in Madison.

  6. #16

    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock Landers View Post
    Bravo! I loved Rowan in Madison.
    But you didn't love him enough to let him get to 600 homers. Cut him the minute he lost a step. Cold.

  7. #17

    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Bernie Carbohydrate View Post
    But you didn't love him enough to let him get to 600 homers. Cut him the minute he lost a step. Cold.


    It’s a cold world out there. Cut bait and move on

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
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    10,517

    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    Imagine you are Frederick Rowan, late of Madison. You had a great career with the Methomaniacs; 17 seasons of all-star play at the hot corner, 30-40 homers per year, terrific defense.

    https://www.csfbl.com/player/4759849/view

    But you start to slip in your late 30s, and you're released after over 2500 games with the franchise that drafted you. You think about retirement, but you're at 589 homers. You just want to catch on somewhere and hit eleven extra dingers and then hang 'em up, to await what is surely a call from the Chi Beta Hall of Fame.

    You sit home all through the summer of 2145, thinking that there must be an organization that could use you. Even at age 40, your defense is spectacular--you won your twelfth Gold Glove in 2144. The stats show you can still crush lefty pitching. You'd be a great stretch run addition to Bucharest bench. Heck, you could start for some contenders...looking at you, Cambridge.

    Late in the season, your agent calls--you got a FA offer. From Dorchester. That dumpster fire of a franchise. Headed for maybe 30 wins. Even worse, the play in a cavernous stadium--that RF line is 360 deep! How will you get those homers?

    Still, you take it. It ain't Tanasbourne, it ain't Madison, but it is an opportunity to keep playing the game you love.

    When you arrive at Dorchester it is as you had feared. The uniforms are an awful powder blue polyester. The mascot -- Dan the Deviant-- is in a drunken slump against a pillar. You had spent almost two decades with Madison--not a powerhouse, but not an embarrassment either. You raised your kids in that fine city. If you had to leave home, you'd hoped you could end your career with a chance at a ring, but now here you were on the very worst team in Chi Beta.

    You find the Chi Beta manager. He looks you over. "Listen," he says, "We're tanking. Bad. But the commish is on our case so we rush ordered some real ballplayers. Go our there and look like you're trying, but don't try too hard."

    You are taken aback...the ...indignity. "I can provide some veteran leadership, " you say, "Look at all these young guys. I'm a ten-time all-star--I could help them improve. maybe we win a few down the stretch, and next year we build on that. With all your draft picks this franchise has a great future..."

    The manager cuts you off. "Future? No, you'll be waived after the season so we can bring up a kid from the low minors. Just go out there and look expensive for twenty games."

    So you play. But your heart isn't in it. You miss your teammates back in Madison, who are in a dogfight for the Adirondack Division. You miss fans in the stands, as Dorchester plays out the string in their empty concrete mausoleum.

    You put up a .656 OPS in 16 games for Dorchester. The manager yells "Attaboy!" each time you strike out.
    Thanks, I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday and I think you made me tear a stitch giggling.
    Chi Beta Federation - Boston Revolutionaries / Boston Molasses Rebels
    Owner: 1996 - ??? (2005-2020; 15 real years)

    27 World Series Wins
    34 League Championships
    49 Division Championships

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Vulpecula View Post
    Well, if we're going to start being nasty again...

    I'd like to point out the irony of MEDDLE getting on someone about TANKING. :P
    You know it's funny you mention it, but a lot of people said it could never get worse than the 2096 Boston team which only won 40 games...

    That imfamous record has been broken now. Congrats Bernie, you created the worst team in league history.
    Chi Beta Federation - Boston Revolutionaries / Boston Molasses Rebels
    Owner: 1996 - ??? (2005-2020; 15 real years)

    27 World Series Wins
    34 League Championships
    49 Division Championships

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Arlington Heights, IL
    Posts
    6,102

    Re: Bernie Carbohydrate

    Quote Originally Posted by MeddlePAL View Post
    You know it's funny you mention it, but a lot of people said it could never get worse than the 2096 Boston team which only won 40 games...

    That imfamous record has been broken now. Congrats Bernie, you created the worst team in league history.
    Imagine being another owner in that division with inflated win totals. If Dorchester wins a normal number of games (let's say 20 more and even then that's still pathetic), that's 4 less wins per team in division. Obviously not absolute bc there's cross division and cross conference games, but just for simplicity. That's potentially 2-3 spots in the draft for next year that has been taken away from you.

    But hey, it helped my draft position...



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