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Thread: Warthog Gazette

  1. #1

    Warthogs Gazette

    Lots of zeroes on the scoreboard tonight, as the home team battled the visiting Fighting Nutria on "Unpleasant-Looking Mascot Night" at Warthog Yards. All fans 12 and under received a free plush nutria and warthog. Only four hits combined for both teams as West Plano P Miguel Waldron and Druid Hill pitchers Kenneth Odenkirk and Brian Painter kept batters in check. The Warthogs finally pushed across the only run of the game in the bottom of the ninth, with a Marvin Simons walk followed by an Oshawn Pelletier triple.

    "Warthogs Baseball -- Winning Ugly"
    Last edited by crimedog60; September 3, 2020 at 12:33 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
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    11,889

    Re: Warthog Gazette

    Good write up. Enjoyed the read.

  3. #3

    Re: Warthogs Gazette

    Owing to the team’s recent winning streak – as well as a desire to provide players with a well-rounded cultural experience – Druid Hill’s Traveling Secretary is arranging some off-time ventures for the team while on the road. The upcoming trip to Portland will include a stop at Washington Park and the Oregon Zoo, and then it’s on to Lorette and a ride on the Prairie Dog Central Railway and burgers and fries at Brian’s Drive-In.

    Speaking of “on the road”, we’ve gotten lots of comments about the schedule and particularly one stretch coming up later in the summer – at Minnesota, home for three against Oklahoma, and then off to Hobe Sound, overnight to Hawaii, overnight to the U.P., a day off before heading to Eastern Illinois and then another day off before shuffling off to Buffalo. Taking a page from the associate office on the West Coast, the Warthogs’ Promotions and Marketing Department will be debuting the 2132 “You Call This A Schedule?” t-shirt at the team store during the next homestand. Available in adult and kid sizes!

    “Warthogs Baseball…….Are We There Yet????”

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
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    11,889

    Re: Warthog Gazette

    Does Brian's deliver? How about special orders? Cheese fries? Mushroom double cheeseburger with bacon, tomato, and gobs of onions? Or my favorite the grilled chilli cheese grilled tuna fish burger?

    Oh yah! Liked the rest of the article as well.

  5. #5

    Re: Warthogs Gazette

    History was almost made at The Big Dipper last night, as your Warthogs came within one out of the third no-hitter in franchise history. In an 11-0 win over the Minnesota North Stars, pitchers Earl Guest and Sammy Dugan combined for 8 2/3 hitless innings before Terrance Faucher singled to deny the franchise its first no-hitter since Robert Nguyen turned the trick for the Beaverton Bravos in 2062. (The only other no-hitter on the books was way back in 1988 by John Gause during the franchise’s St John’s days.) Apparently the North Stars decided to save their bats for the next night, as they administered a 10-0 drubbing to the Warthogs.

    The team’s Traveling Secretary has been working overtime to make the upcoming country – and ocean – hopping road trip bearable by scheduling downtime activities. So it’s off to the Hobe Sound Nature Center – followed by dinner at Harry and the Natives – and then a stop at Diamond Head while in Hawaii. The team will take in the Great Lakes Shipwreck Museum while in the U.P., and the Lincoln-Douglas Debate Museum when getting to Eastern Illinois to play the Panthers. The social calendar for the trip ends with a stop at the Buffalo Zoo before heading home.

    Don’t think for a second that the Promotions and Marketing Department has been sitting around while the team is away – far from it! Available soon at the team store……the first-ever “Warthogs in the Kitchen” cookbook! Yes, your Warthogs don’t just dazzle on the diamond – they’re somewhat competent in the culinary world as well! Sample such delicacies as catcher Paul Reed’s “My Favorite PBJ”, reserve infielder Paul Griffin’s “Directions to the Nearest McDonald’s”, pitcher Dennis Flores’ interesting sounding “Filet of Spam” and one that’s sure to appeal to all of you budget-minded fans……right fielder Thomas Conway’s “’Cans of Stuff Near Their Expiration Date That I Gotta Use Before They Go Bad’ Casserole”. All proceeds go toward local food banks!

    “Warthogs Baseball…….Break Out the Pepto!!”
    Last edited by crimedog60; September 10, 2020 at 02:21 PM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
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    11,889

    Re: Warthog Gazette

    Keep it going.

  7. #7

    Re: Warthogs Gazette

    During the recent homestand the Warthogs held a press conference to introduce the three newest members of the organization acquired in this year’s draft. They used the opportunity to address a few other topics as well…..

    How do you see these new players helping the team?

    David (McBride) fits the definition of “crafty southpaw”. We’re hoping he can add to his repertoire and become an effective reliever and spot starter. Kenneth (Geter) and Billy (Reyna) will hopefully be part of the next wave of outfielders coming through our system.

    Can right-handers be crafty?

    Any other questions?

    How are you feeling about the team at the moment?

    Right now we’ve got a third-place team, and we can get up to the back of the second-place team but catching them and passing them are two different things.

    You must feel confident since you didn’t make any big moves at the trade deadline. Do you think they can hold it together for one final push?

    We told them that there’s about twenty laps to go, you’re running on fumes, the engine is smoking and the wheels aren’t gripping……what you got is what you got – get it to the finish line.

    One last thing -- been watching much NASCAR lately?

    And with that – we’re done! (*leaves podium*)

    “Warthogs Baseball…….Boogity Boogity Boogity – Let’s Go Playoff Chasin’, Boys!!”
    Last edited by crimedog60; September 14, 2020 at 06:17 PM.

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