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Thread: The Loganville Chronicles

  1. #11
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    Aug 2004
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    Re: The Loganville Chronicles


  2. #12
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    Aug 2004
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    Cleveland, OH
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    Re: The Loganville Chronicles

    *Inside the clubhouse...*

    Julian Baker: I've called this meeting of ALL position players on the active roster to address some things. Note that as special guests from time to time, we bring in the pups from the low minors and AAA. This would be one of those times. The purpose of this meeting is to get the new draftees indoctrinated into what the culture is. I understand some of you, and some of us, will not be here long term. Trades happen. Free agency happens. Roster cuts happen. This is pro ball, so you better get used to it. That's the business of pro ball.

    Now that we've got that out of the way, you minor leaguers have to understand something. Some of you on the big league roster need to understand this also, so listen up. Just because you swing a bat does NOT make you a part of The Offense. Membership in The Offense is production based. The only lifetime membership is to be voted on by current members of The Offense and approved by The Council of Lifetime Members. Let me introduce The Council attending today: all-time Land Shark hits leader and Steals leader Hugh Duffy, number 2 on the Land Shark Hits list Kenneth Greenbaum, the franchise leader in Total Bases and Runs Scored Christopher Kelso, James Conklin all representing the alumni, and the lone active member, SS Eugene Johnson. Gentlemen, thank you for attending. Except you, Eugene; you signed up for this. *Muffled laughter around the room*

    So you young guys understand, an .800 OPS gets you membership for the season. Anything under does not. Active members of The Offense are the sole arbiters of who is in and who does not meet requirements. Playing time matters, so stop asking, Benjamin Cain.

    Members in good standing this season: myself, Raffel the Waffle, Go-Go Gonzo (Clifton Gonzalez), Cam Jones, and Bunny (Duane Easton). That's it. The whole lot of us have the chance every year to join, but none of you seem interested. That's why the kids are up here from the minors; to get a better understanding of what is expected. In the lows, we hear some things about Luis Winston, William Goodman, and the hotshot draftee Filiberto Hession. Hession, keep grinding; you'll get here. That's the easy part. We want you to be able to stay here. That's the hard part. Winston and Goodman, we expect to see both of you very soon. Young Mr. Winston, we know you came really close to making the team. We know you're being groomed to take my job. I'm going to do whatever I can to help prepare you, but I will NOT roll over and give it to you. Your task is to come and take it. Mr. Goodman, we here you have some kind of hitting ability and power; we hope you show it next season if you can make the team. You guys in AAA, we see you. We all know that at least 3 of you will be here next season. Young Mr. Lighty, we hear you have the look. We're watching.

    Fellas, look around. These pups, every last one of them are gunning for our spots. 5 of the 9 are expected to be here in the bigs next season. That means 5 of us won't be. These pups are hungry and aching to show what they can do and that they belong. Step your games up and make it harder on them. You young pups, understand, the jobs are here for you to take. We used to be you. We know, and we get it. Come take our jobs if you can, and when you're ready to join The Offense, we're waiting.

    This so ends this meeting. Minor leaguers, your day here is just beginning. You'll have a meeting with The Council, and other assorted Land Shark legends. You'll also meet with selected members of the active roster, members of the front office, and the voice of Land Shark baseball, Jimmy Pipes.

    Thanks for coming, guys. This meeting is adjourned.

  3. #13
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    Re: The Loganville Chronicles

    Jimmy Pipes broadcasting live from the annual in-season Land Shark Fan Fest. I'll leave out the quip about how what few fans we have aren't festive.

    Today we're going to sit down with the assorted members and find out what they think of the team. Please welcome Delbert Hanford, Clinton Gonzalez, Julian Baker, William Raffel, Duane Easton, Adam Jenkins, and Ken Brown. Welcome gentlemen. let's get right to it. Delbert, we'll start with you. How do assess your season so far?

    Hanford: First Jimmy, thanks for asking me to be a part of this; it's an honor. I haven't had a very good rookie season. I expected to do much better, but it seems I've always been the guy counted out everywhere I've been. Somehow I'm still here. It must be the way I work, because I only know how to work.

    Pipes: You had a brief run in '80 and looked like you were gonna beat the world, but never got a chance in '81. New ownership and management comes in and they give you the ball and tell you to run with it. Why haven't you done so well?

    Hanford: You get a brief taste and think it's gonna be easy when you have the success I did in '80. That was a hot 24 games (11 HR, 29 RBI, .292/.364/.708/1.073) but I was bitter I didn't get a shot after that in '81. My Mom and Dad raised me to work hard and keep improving, so that's what I've always tried to do. You can see, the power is real. I'm working to get better on the other aspects of hitting.

    Pipes: You gonna be here next season?

    Hanford. I don't know. I hope so. I can see the guys gaining on me in the rear view mirror. You know; objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. Remember, they signed Clinton and benched me immediately because I was awful. If I was doing the job, maybe he's not here doing what he's doing. But now we both are in the lineup. I want to be here. I had my first success here. I'd like to establish myself as a legit power hitter here. That'd be cool.

    Pipes: Gonzalez, your turn. same questions.

    Gonzalez: Thanks, Jimmy. Season's good for me personally, but not for the team. That makes me unhappy. Guys like Delbert keep you positive. We both were 3rd round selections, so the odds were against us even getting this far. I think I'll be here next year. I hope so; I think I've earned that chance to come back. But baseball is fickle; you just never know.

    Pipes: Julian Baker. Your thoughts?

    Baker: Gonzo will be back. Hanford will be back, but nothing will be given or promised. that kind of power, They'd be foolish to not see if he can build on a full season of at bats. Work out the position part later. He needs at bats.

    Pipes: And your future here?

    Baker: Everyone of us is gone if the right offer comes around. I want to be in the league. I want to be here, but if not, then where ever I go, I'm going to be an asset. And beat the hell out of Loganville everytime I play them. This is where I want to build a winner. The fans deserve it.

    Pipes: Strong words, Mr. Baker. Mr. Waffle, er, Raffel.

    Raffel: Jimmy---

    Brown: Jimmy, I can't let this crap go on for another minute.

    Raffel: I was talking here!

    Brown: Was. Emphasis on the past tense. Nobody cares what you have to say. You can swing the bat, but you're nothing. A no good flychaser who can't catch. OH sure you can get to it but---

    Baker: Easy, Raffel; let him go. For now. Brown, don't mistake my restraint for weakness.

    Brown: Shut up, Baker! In the midst of the year of your life, and nobody even sniffs at a deal. Why? I'll tell ya why! It's because you're a big fish in a little pond and you ain't worth it!

    Baker: OK, Mr. Accolades, Mr. I-Me Man.12 years in Minnesota and they dumped your ***. Not a trade. Just had you escorted out and threw your crap on the ground at you. But I guess a 14 and 32 record with an ERA over 4 and a half over your last 64 starts will do that. Any 20 win seasons n your resume', champ? No. 3 19 win seasons mean you friggin' almost did something. Got you a Cy? That's cool. Where's your ring? Oh you ain't got one either? So 12 years, 10 All Stars, a Rookie of the year, a Cy, and no damn rings? You know who has none of your individual hardware but won 20 games? Adam here. Oh that was a year you won 19, in '76 right? Adam what did you do the year I-Me Man over there won his Cy?

    Jenkins: I lost 20.

    Brown: So what's your point? I belong with a contender?

    Baker: So why haven't they come to get you? Jenkins overcame adversity and went from a 20 game loss season to a 20 game win season. He persevered. He worked at it. And he knows he didn't do it without his teammates. Listen Jimmy, me and the boys didn't come out for this. We came out for the fans. We came out to talk to you. We did not come out for this. You fans deserve better...

    *Everyone walks off, leaving Brown alone.*

    Brown: Show me where I'm wrong...

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cleveland, OH
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    Re: The Loganville Chronicles

    *Outside the clubhouse*

    Delbert Hanford: Hey Mr. Baker, can I have a word with you?
    Julian Baker: If it's about what i think it is, tread lightly. You already know why you're not considered part of the offense, and you know what you have to do.
    Hanford: I know; I just wanted to tell you I'm coming for a spot. I'll be there next season.
    Baker: I hope so, And will you quit with the Mr. Baker stuff? I'm 2 years older than you.
    Hanford: Sorry; just how I was raised. Anyway, 3 games left. You got 3 HRs and 2 RBI on me...
    Baker: And almost 200 points in OPS to hear Pipes tell it.
    Robert Woods: What's this? Ya'll arguing over who's carrying the second biggest stick here?
    Baker: That depends. You coming back next season?
    Woods: I don't know about anything but the next game. Next year will sort itself out next year.

    *Inside the clubhouse*
    Clinton Gonzalez: Waffle, I'm coming for the hits lead!
    William Raffel: Not gonna happen. I'm taking batting average and hits. You gonna try and make up 5 hits and 22 points in 3 games?
    Gonzalez: Why not? Might as well have some fun with it. I'm trying to give you a run!
    Benjamin Cain: How you taking over the batting average lead when you gotta get past me and Robert Woods?
    Gonzalez and Raffel: (laughing) BC, go sit down somewhere!
    Duane Easton: What's good, fellas?
    Raffel: Will you please get a few hits so we can shut BC up? He's talking that nonsense again!
    Cain: That's just fact. Go look at batting average, then come at me (laughing).
    Easton: I can't believe you got in and I got booted.
    Cain: Bunny, you gonna be alright. Just get some hits. It works!

    *across the room*
    Ken Brown: Anybody coming back here next year?
    Joseph Lanier: We all are. To watch you fall flat on your face, Ace.
    Brown: You got something you want to say to me?
    Lanier: I already said it. Unless you want me to say it with my fists, but I already promised the guys I wouldn't, and I keep my word.
    Brown: You better walk away before you get hurt.
    Lanier: (walking up on Brown) This ain't what you want. You ain't in Minnesota anymore.
    Adam Jenkins: Easy, Joe. It ain't worth it.
    Alfred West: We have a problem here? Oh, Brown. Yeah. A problem.
    Eugene Johnson: Ya'll giving hitting tips? I'll take 'em if they work!
    West, Jenkins, Lanier and Ronny Sharper: EJ!!!
    Sharper: EJ, I got this.
    Johnson: Looks like you don't. Sharpie, if you gotta say 'I got this', it's too late. Hey, CJ, Drew, ya'll got a minute?
    Cameron Jones: Sure!
    Andrew Thornburg: What's up?
    Johnson: I need a minute with Sharpie, here. I hear these guys are handing out hitting tips. Anything sound good, lemme know, ok?
    Jones: We got you!
    Thornburg: Now why is EJ trying to get hitting tips from pitchers? If ya'll swing a bat like ya'll throw punches, we KNOW why ya'll pitchers!
    Jones: Now Drew, they might know something about getting us out, so if we can reverse engineer it maybe we can gather a few tips. Brownie, what ya got?
    Brown: Nothing to say.
    Thornburg: So you looking for pitching tips? I mean, you're in the middle of this discussion about hitting, and have nothing to offer? Man, get outta here...
    Jones: I mean, really, why would a pitcher be giving hitting tips to other pitchers? Joe, Adam?
    Jenkins: Me and Joe were thinking of going to find Pipes. I hear he's gota story to tell about pitchers in some league that have to hit...
    Thornburg: What?!? This I gotta hear...

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