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Thread: The Brockmire Awards

  1. #61
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    Quote Originally Posted by oldeephus View Post
    The ‘Not in the bottom three’ Shout Out
    This shout out is given to the Management of the Philadelphia Stars who are basking in the glory of being the 21st fastest team in the league.
    I can always count on you to keep track of my baserunning prawless, not sure what you're going to do in a few seasons when I bring up my FOUR 80+ Speedsters and change my base stealing setting all the way up to 5.
    PGML Cuban's Sharks
    KBL Buntsville Squeeze
    BD Philly Whiz Kids
    Brockmire League- Philadelphia Stars
    ALTRTA- Roxborugh Rampage

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Aug 2017

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    I have so much fun reading these! Thanks again for doing the digging and using your imagination for everyone's enjoyment.

  3. #63

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    Great writeup!

  4. #64
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    The "I can do that too" Award

    We all know the name Andrew Stanley, 3X MVP that has won in both Conferences well he's got company with Kenneth Wilson now winning the award in both conferences. It was probably his crazy first 53 games in MINN before his trade to FLA that got him his 2nd.
    PGML Cuban's Sharks
    KBL Buntsville Squeeze
    BD Philly Whiz Kids
    Brockmire League- Philadelphia Stars
    ALTRTA- Roxborugh Rampage

  5. #65

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    The 1989 Brockmire Awards

    Well it’s quite obvious we’ve got to start off with...

    The STFU Award
    Ok sit down. Let’s talk about 26 year old centerfielder Merv Hicks of the St. Louis Tornadoes.
    Seriously sit down.
    Now he’s an average sized ball player at 6’1” and 213 lbs and built more like a truck driver than an athlete. Even has the stubble and a friendly and slightly gapped tooth smile. (It is rumored he was born with 5 o’clock shadow - but that’s untrue) He grew up in Kentucky and spends his off seasons shooting both squirrels and the sh!t while drinking Bud in a can with his hometown friends. He’s been engaged for six years to his high school sweetheart and he also thinks flannel qualifies as semi formal wear. He’s even been a guest host this year at the Grand Ole Opry and does quite popular local television commercials for Uncle Roscoes All American Auto Body and Honest Used Car Sales - located conveniently right off US route 31E. Off the field he is a genuine and very likable 26 year old. Until he’s at the plate...

    Let’s look at this line
    .061/.052/.248/.301 with 37 HR and 50 RBI’s.

    That’s his statistical INCREASE over the previous year. He massacred opposing pitching to the tune of .345/.463/.838/1.301 with 76 Home Runs and 163 RBI’s. Oh and he walked 118 times. And had 161 runs.

    And was on the bench 1/8 of the year.

    Yup 1/8th.

    (The Brockmire Awards Committee doesn’t know how to calculate WAR as it involves math so we’ll just round it up to a billion.)
    Seriously, Merv hit more homers than Jonathan Littlefield and Andrew Stanley of Pittsburgh COMBINED this year.
    Now the fans in St. Louis - they call themselves the Hick Nation and are located in center left field and also represent a delightful 7% increase in beer sales - have reason to celebrate this year as he broke the records for... R, HR, SLG, OPS, TB, RC, LWTS, ABHR, TBPA, XRC and XBAA. Merv doesn’t understand ‘What all that fancy letters mean’ but he’s hoping that he can play in more than 140 games next year.
    Well opposing teams aren’t Merv.
    But Kudos on your breakout year.
    Have fun with that Continental League South.

    The Red Light/Green Light Award
    Haven’t seen teammates get this before. The Red Light Award goes to STL’s DH Tito Nanni who was 0-7 in stolen base attempt while teammate and 4th OF Chester Hans , who wins the Green Light Award ‘cause he was flawless in 7 stolen bags. Well done St. Louis.

    The ‘Best keep getting Better’ Award
    Pittsburgh’s Jonathan Littlefield broke his almost perfect career record of K’s with a stellar 213 whiffs (30 more than the closest competitor). He does hold the league leading career record of 1,762 over his bestie Andrew (you know his name) who has 1,684.
    (Now just as a reminder they both sit top 5 all time in home runs, just again to highlight the ridiculous year Merv had.)
    (and in a small surprise to the Brockmire Awards Committee- Jonathan and Andrew share the same birthday. Creepy - but makes it easier for Pittsburgh Management to have a party.)

    The ‘All glove’ Award
    Texas fans often get to see amazing acrobatic plays at second base with 24 year old Richard Thurman. What they don’t get to see from him is any semblance of offense. In 152 games he had 107 hits and 4 k’s to each walk. His slash line - a tough to swallow .193/.235/.308/.513. However he had a respectable 6.26 range and a .992 fielding percentage and many highlight reel worthy saves in the field. He’s been close to clipping .600 OPS and at 24 years old the fans can hold out hope.

    The Best Rookie Baseball name of 89 Award
    A poll of Brockmire Announcers resulted in rookie LF Roger Kincheloe of the Houston Buffaloes winning the name Announcers wanted to say.
    (Now batting for the Buffaloeesss.. left fielder ... Rogggggerr ..... Kin-Cheee-llooooo-eeeeee. It’s even better with an imaginary echo)

    The ‘My Knees used to be tough as Hell’ Award
    C Ted Bryant of the Seattle Grey Stockings had a rough year on the basepathes. For the first time in his career he was caught stealing more than successfully swiping. He was tagged 19 times while only advancing 15 bags. In his defense he has 543 stolen bases as a catcher, and being behind the plate 1,213 games so far in his career has finally caught up. Now the Brockmire Awards Committee understands how unforgiving middle age is - hence the shout out. Ted is adamant about his catching duties and is trying a few natural and organic (and hypothetically legal) herbal home remedies in an attempt to stay behind the plate for the GreySox. Best of Luck Ted.

    The ‘My Knees already Suck’ Award.
    24 yo C/DH Shane Ruppert of the Boston Americans was only 33% successful at swiping bases (1 SB, 2 CS) but he has a different career strategy than Ted Bryant.
    It’s called ... not even catching and Relying on Pure Power.
    His line last year...
    .265/.320/.521/.841 with 21 doubles and one triple. Oh but there was a stellar 49 HR and 127 RBI. So why run .. when you can smack the cow right off it?
    Good news for Boston fans, he’s got a higher PO ceiling....

    The Somewhat Almost Perfect Game Award
    31 yo Catcher Douglas Tidd of Detroit had an amazing cup o’ joe. After toiling in NY’s low minors for 4 years and being cut only to be scooped up later that year by Detroit to play in their LM and AAA for another 4 years - Mr. Tidd had one of the most amazing first games for a rookie hitter, and that took place on April 17th of this year.
    Sadly the Wolverines lost the game to the Minnesota 10k. However that game Douglas went 2-2 with 2 walks while batting fourth for the Wolverines.
    Career line of 1.000/1.000/1.000/2.000.
    One could point out he had no extra base hits or runs batted in but... why?
    When interviewed after that game the 31 year old rookie said, ‘Best day ever.’
    Although he hasn’t played a game in the bigs since, the Brockmire Awards Committee couldn’t argue his assessment of the game.
    Well played Sir, well played.

    The ‘Don’t take it so literally, Mate’ Award
    The NY management team has many scouts and one is international hitting scout Ben Smith, who is from the lovey nation of Australia. Seeking a quality bat to replace the Big Bat of the departing Robert Bell, Hitting scout Ben found a low minor rookie named Henry Waddy. Now every Aussie knows a waddy is a big stick or club. (Traditionally the word was used by native aborigines and spelled wadi). Desperate for some pop in the heart of the line up, NY Management grudgingly decided to trust Ben’s superstitious gut feeling and called up the 25 year old. So 23k richer, rookie 2B Henry Waddy found himself batting 4th/5th and playing second base for the Mutuals for the rest of the year and delivered this slash line .202/.269/.298/.567 in 131 games with 9HR’s and 49 RBI’s.
    In his defense, Henry was the best (of the bottom 3) second basemen in fielding range and got second place (of the bottom 3 again) in fielding percentage.
    NY management is rumored to be spending extra money scouting next year including the salary of former scout Ben Smith, who is considering a move back to Australia and going back into ranching.

    The Unstoppable Award
    RF Terry ‘The Swinger’ Flanagan of Baltimore is still playing every game, everyday. 1440 games and counting. Currently he’s 36 years old and still playing the field...

    The Trade, Trade, Trade, Trade, Trade, Trade and Trade Award
    Colorado was all out on trying to beat Seattle into the playoffs as they were the two remaining teams who hadn’t been since the league’s inauguration. Of the leagues 20 trades this year, Colorado lead the charge with over one third of all trades.
    Since the trading tsunami, the low minor club, the Denver Calves, have now initiated a new method to field a team using actual fans from the stands. It’s been quite the hit as many of the tens of hundreds of fans show up with gloves, caps and even jerseys...ready to play. The most surprising isn’t the clubs 24-56 record, it was when part time landscaper and stay at home dad Ralph Surly was called from the stands to spot start a game for the Calves, only to get traded mid game to the opposing club -Minnesota’s LM team, the Wisconsin 15,000 - on July 4th as part of the second Robert Bell trade of the year.
    (Ralph went 3 innings for both clubs and gave up 2 ER’s that game ... and is also available for yard work in the Denver Area. Check the local yellow pages if interested.)
    The Brockmire Awards Committee has nothing but respect for a team that goes all in. Well done Colorado.

    The Boom Boom Award
    Left fielder James Holly (26 yo) and his teammate Catcher Jerry Hanson (23 yo) have combined for over 100 HR’s in back to back seasons delighting fans and more importantly, San Diego management. (107 in 88, 111 in 89.)

    The Zero Calorie Zero Sugar Award
    Benny ‘Diet’ Cola set a league record with 52 saves for the Fleet striking out 91 in 80 innings while posting a stellar 2.91 ERA. (5-4 with 8 blown saves) Obviously the Brockmire Awards Committee has zero influence on the leagues other (and not nearly as meaningful) awards but hopes he get the CY this year. Bullpen pitchers are pitchers too.

    The What more does a Guy gotta Do? Award
    Mark Alt of the NY Mutuals had 30 QS and a 2.52 ERA and a 1.28 Whip. What he didn’t have was run support and ended the year with a 11-10 record in 40 games. Mark is planning to hit the batting cages in an attempt to become Brockmire’s first two way player...

    The ExLax Bullpen Pitching Award
    Oh Kansas City, 35 yo Jonathan Verdin has brought home this coveted award. He pitched in 37 games for 28 innings, gave up 51 hits, had more BB’s (20) than K’s (19) and gave up 32 earned runs ending up with a sky high 10.29 ERA and a wicked 2.54 whip. His deceptive record of 1-2-1 5 blown saves and 5 holds almost stopped him from winning this award but thankfully he is bringing it back to lovely Missouri. Well done Jonathan.

    The Fan Loyalty Award
    Chicago season ticket holders are tough as nails. Why you ask? Well 24 year old starting pitcher Anthony Winter and fellow starter 37 year old Aaron Sherwood combined for a 6-42 record this year for the Whales. They managed 15 quality starts out of 64 this year.
    Honestly they need more Brickma. ASAP . Both spotted an ERA in the 7’s which, truth be told, is better than 8.

    The Dookie of the Year Award
    Rule 5 player William Silver (26 year old) of the Florida Flyers wins this Award in his rookie season by going 8-17 with 0 saves and 4 blown saves in a combination of starting and bullpen work. He started 22 games and had this stat line. 143 innings pitched with 205 hits, 109 earned runs, 6.86 ERA and 1.94 whip. He has room to improve and will be working hard this offseason.

    The Brockmire Awards Committee’s Top Five Memories of the 80’s (not including this year cause it just happened....)
    #5...Watching the Brockmire fans butcher every attempt to do the moonwalk on big screens league wide after Michael Jackson showed the world in 84
    #4...Claudio Sherman’s unheard of 72 K’s to 2 walks in 85
    #3...Ernest Delacruz going 18-3 and his ridiculous 0.71 ERA in 87
    #2...Watching Phoebe Cates getting out of a swimming pool in the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High in 82
    #1...Lite hitting shortstop Tsuyoshi Nishioka going deep four times in one game in 86

    As always lets end it off with BloopErs...
    C 2 Victor Doran (MIN)
    1B 25 Kevin Mello (MIL)
    2B 22 John Brady (LA)
    Willie Nelson (CLE)
    3B 38 Michael Boyette (CLE)
    SS 38 Thomas Kelly (COL)
    LF 6 Duane Montgomery (BALT)
    Robert Martin (HOU)
    Daniel Miller (LA)
    CF 16 Ron Pierce (COL)
    Aaron Mendoza (MIN)
    RF 8 Ivan Wheat (KC)

    UPDATED Brockmire League Individual Hitters Records (min 100 AB)

    AB - 697 Christoper Robb 1B (PHI 84)
    Brent Difiore 1B (FLA 87)
    Edwardo Mace 2B (COL 89)
    R - 161 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    Hits - 244 Brent Difiore 1B (FLA 84)
    2B - 51 Aaron Kleiman 3B (NY 85)
    3B - 20 Stephen Owens CF (MIN 83)
    HR - 76 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    RBI - 170 Sicilian Cruz CF (TOR 83)
    BB - 158 William Unger CF (BAL 81)
    SO - 213 Jonathan Littlefield LF (PIT 89)
    SB - 141 Angel Lomax 3B (ATL 84)
    CS - 45 Angel Lomax 3B (ATL 85)
    AVG - .386 Ivan Wheat CF (TOR 81 & 82)
    OBP - .509 Ivan Wheat CF (TOR 81)
    SLG - .838 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    OPS - 1.301 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    PA - 763 Sherman Howell 2B (TOR 81)
    TB - 444 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    GB/FB - (highest) 71% John Tokarz C (MIN 84)
    (lowest) 30% Robert Cook CF (CHI 84)
    SF - 9 Thomas Jones CF (COL 84)
    HBP - 14 Robert Govan CF (ATL 86)
    GDP - 56 Andrew Cole C (NY 82)
    ROE - 20 Michael Golding RF (MON 83)
    XB - 84 Ted Bryant C (SEA 82)
    Robert Martin (HOU 88)
    BRO - 16 Manuel Kerr RF (SEA 87)
    SA - .770 George Hill 1B (ATL 86)
    RC - 207.1 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    LWTS - 105.26 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    ABHR - 6.97 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    TBPA - 0.68 Merv Hicks CF (STL 89)
    XRC - 178.8 Merv Hocks CF (STL 89)
    XRAA - 104.0 Merv Hocks CF (STL 89)

    Individual Pitchers Records (minimum 100 IP)

    G - 90 Magglio Lear (TOR 85)
    IP - 315 Harold Cook (BOS 89)
    W - 25 Antony Vanover (BAL 81)
    25 Brandon Argo (TOR 84)
    L - 24 Melvin Wyatt (OAK 81)
    SV - 52 Benny Cola (SD 89)
    BS - 12 Quinton Williams (CHI 89)
    HLD - 18 Kevionbasi Keizer (SEA 86)
    H - 320 John Rinehart (HOU 85)
    R - 177 Ed Jackson (SEA 81)
    William Reed (SEA 82)
    ER -168 Terrence Sanders (COL 83)
    BB - 153 Jon Paul (MON 83)
    Merritt Thomas (TEX 86)
    HBP - 24 Harry Alvarado (PIT 88)
    Kelly Parish (CLE 89)
    SO - 377 Jarrett Luton (PIT 88)
    GS - 41 Vincent Bolton (SEA 84)
    QS - 30 Mario Heitman (FLA 81)
    Walter Robinson (FLA 88)
    Mark Alt (NY 89)
    CG - 30 Roy Morales (KC 83)
    SO - 11 Jarrett Luton (PIT 88)
    ERA - 0.71 Ernest Delacruz (MON 87)
    WHIP - 0.91 Kyle Peterson (MIL 81)
    SO9 - 14.1 Louis Quintanar (COL 84)
    BB9 - 6.8 Leslie Gilliard (SD 86)
    SOBB - 11.00 Larry Gonzales (KC 81)
    GO - 518 Vincent Bolton (SEA 82)
    FO - 325 Mark Luby (BOS 89)
    FFO - 45 Martin Mills (SEA 82)
    HR - 54 Ed Jackson (SEA 83)
    IR - 78 Felix Munro (STL 82)
    IRS - 32 Daniel Tipton (ATL 81)

    OAVG - .383 Robert Klein (NY 83)
    OOBP - .454 Robert Klein (NY 83)
    OSLG - ..603 Robert Klein (NY 83)
    OOPS - 1.058 Robert Klein (NY 83)
    LWTS - -61.90 Anthony Winter (CHI 89)

    OAVG - .141 Ernest Delacruz (MON 88)
    OOBP - .242 Kyle Peterson (MIL 81)
    OSLG - .175 Ernest Delacruz (MON 87)
    OOPS - .442 Ernest Delacruz (MON 88)
    LWTS - 79.07 Ernest Delacruz (MON 87)
    XRAA - 75.4 Antony Vanover (BAL 81)
    BABIP- .202 Ernest Delacruz (MON 88)
    FIP 2.33 Daniel Cameron (FLA 88)

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Southern California

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    The boom boom, exlax and dookie awards. I sense a theme here
    Happy, but a little lost
    Well, I don't know what I don't know so I'll kick my shoes off &run
    2016: 3,437-3,070 (.528) ~ 4 WS
    2017: 8,035-6,518 (.552) ~ 8 WS
    2018: 6,226-5,522 (.530) ~ 7 WS
    2019: 3 WS

    GOATLong Beach Losers(1994-)1997, 1998
    TCLVista Cruisers(2101-)2109
    WBCVenezuela(1925-1932,1937-)1925, 1928, 1930, 1937, 1949
    XBAnaheim Aardvarks(2083) 
    EPSan Onofre(2002)2003
    BrockToronto Marlies(1986-) 
    LEG-2045, 2046, 2047, 2051, 2054
    CarL-2022, 2027, 2031, 2032
    Dodgers-1953, 1955, 1966
    TML-1964, 1966, 1967, 1968, 1972, 1976, 1983, 1984
    Sweet-1886, 1888, 1891, 1892, 1897, 1898, 1900
    TDD-2106, 2107

  7. #67

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    Actually the Boom Boom was in reference to potential home runs back to back from the two hitters.

    That said, the view from the gutter is just fine haha

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  8. #68

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    It's been reported that St. Louis' executive team is unhappy with missing the playoffs and how much Merv was on the bench this year.

    The coaching team has defended themselves by saying a rested Merv was the reason he was so unbelievably successful, but they agree that maybe they had their eyes on the playoffs too early.

    Changes will be made. Rumours are the Merv will be moved to Left Field, for starters.

  9. #69

    Re: The Brockmire Awards

    On a sad note it managed to sneak by the Brockmire Awards Committee that RF Harry Fox hung up his cleats on November 2nd, 1986. And sadly without an exit interview so that’s right...
    No one will ever know what Harry Fox says....

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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